Neither spouse or wife in their right minds like conflicts in marriage. But such conflicts are very common. As a rule, it all starts with the fact that some statement of one married partner causes irritation to another. After that, they increase the voice of each other, lose their self -control. As a result, an acute dispute flares up, during which the husband and wife exchange sarcastic remarks. Then cold silence occurs, both spouses stubbornly refuse to talk among themselves. Over time, anger subsides, and they ask each other for forgiveness. The world is restored – at least until the next misunderstanding.
Quarrels between husband and wife have become the theme of numerous jokes and television programs, but in fact there is no joking. One biblical parable says that sometimes people with their rash “words, like a sword, cut out”. Indeed, rude words can leave an emotional wound in itself, which after a quarrel will not heal for a long time. Disputes can even lead to violence.
True, through human imperfection it is sometimes impossible to avoid problems in marriage. And yet it is impossible to perceive frequent and sharp disputes as something normal. Experts noticed that when disputes constantly arise in the family, the likelihood of a divorce increases. Therefore, you and your marital partner need to learn, peacefully settled a misunderstanding.
Assess the situation
If disputes constantly arise in your marriage, try to determine what happens most often when you and your married partner go out in your views regarding some kind of business? The unfinished conversation quickly gets out of control, turning into a stream of mutual insults and accusations? If so, what to do?
First, to honestly analyze what you personally, perhaps, exacerbate the problem. Or is it easy to angry you? You are not inclined by nature to disputes? What your spouse says about it? It is important to consider the last question because you and your marital partner can understand differently what it means to be prone to disputes.
Let’s say your married partner is somewhat closed, and you are expressed frankly and emotionally. You may say: “In our family, everyone said so. I do not consider it a dispute “. However, what seems to you with a free and direct conversation, your spouse can perceive as offensive and aggressive bothering. Given that you and your marriage partner are simply used to communicating in different ways, then this will help prevent misunderstanding.
In addition, remember that the dispute is not always accompanied by screams. “Scream and swearing, let them be removed from you”. The word “scream” means an increase in the voice, and the word “abuse” concerns the meaning of what we say. Given this conversation in a whisper, you can call a dispute if the words that cause irritation and humiliate during it.
So, taking into account the above, once again analyze how you settles misunderstandings in your marriage. You are prone to disputes? As we saw, the answer to this question largely depends on the perception of your married partner. Do not reject his opinion, believing that he is too insulting, and try to look at himself with his eyes and make the necessary changes.